 | | Your haircut takes 20-30 minutes, your dog's takes much longer.
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| | Your hairdresser doesn't give you a manicure & pedicure.
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| | Your hairdresser only clips the hair on your head.
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| | You don't have fleas, ticks, or mites.
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| | Your hairdresser is not expected to comb out dreadlocks.
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| | Your hairdresser doesn't clean your ears.
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| | You don't try to bite your hairdresser.
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| | You stay still & don’t wiggle, jump & shake while being worked on with sharp scissors & tools.
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| | Your hairdresser doesn't wash your butt.
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| | You don't come in with mud, burrs, sticks, tar, sap, gum, foxtails, & poop in your hair.
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| | You don't shake & cover everything (including your hairdresser) in 2 inches of soapy water.
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| | Your hairdresser doesn't have to shave between your toes.
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| | You can tell your hairdresser if something is wrong, she or he doesn't have to guess.
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| | You don't poop while your hairdresser is blow drying your backside.
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| | Your hairdresser doesn't cuddle you & stroke you when you get nervous.
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| | You don't walk into your hairdresser with hair that hasn't been brushed in 6 weeks (or 6 months).
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| | You don't scream at the top of your lungs every time the hairdresser picks up a pair of nail clippers.
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| | You don't whip around in a frenzy as soon as your hairdresser goes to clip around your ears.
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| | You don't try to hump your hairdresser's leg.
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| | You don't play chicken with a skunk right before your appointment.
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| | You don't pee, poop, or throw up in the hairdresser's chair.
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| | You don't wait until you're clean & dry to go potty & sit in it.
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| | You don't dig your fingernails into your hairdresser's arm.
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| | You don't roll in dead things.
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| | Your hairdresser probably won't love you if you do any of the above. In fact they would probably have you arrested! |
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